Until when you will be mine?  How long I will bare with this happiness I felt right now. HOW LONG? a big question that always startles me every time I think of the past. I don’t how to deal with things anymore I am so overwhelmed with your comeback. Surprised that you gave me importance inspite of sacrificing me for him. There are lot of questions that runs in my mind? Honestly I thought u came back, for me just to fill the gaps of your past relationship or you can’t go nowhere that time. I am sorry if I was saying this I just can’t say it to you for you maybe offended by my questions.  I LOVE YOU la but I thought you may never feel the same way or it is just an infatuation.  Everytime we chatted  you always fill my day with smile. Sometimes I try not to PM just to let you know that I have grown since our last conversation. But no, I thirst of your presence.  I know there are times that I’m already fooling myself for begging for your attention which I know you can’t give most of the time.  Too many tears I have shed but why I am not still numb. WHY I STILL waited this long ? I tried to find the answer to all my questions but none of it was answered. Till I read your message on FB asking (how are you) . To tell you frankly I thought of not replying you that time but I can’t manage to do that because that’s the only thing I’ve been waiting sinced the last two years. I’ve treasured those memories so much that it never leaves my mind that every smile, laugh and stories we shared . You were the first person who greeted me Happy Birthday on the first few minutes of July 15. The one who makes me sit the whole day infront of the PC just to talk even with the non-sense thing I could ever imagine. You runs my life with that few time of yours . Who could imagine that you will leave an impression that last this long. Even me myself can’t believe how things like this affected my boring life. Sure thing you’re one of the person who put a smile on my face that will last a lifetime . For which path this reality will bring us you will always be here in my heart remember that …..

Ok writing a post again after two months. So this evening is so cold and rainy. Let me think of a topic '' think think" :D Ow how bout the first month of college life. Oh yeah I'm already college taking electronics engineering at Mapua Institute of Technology inside the historical wall of Intramuros. Who would have think that I would pursue this course though I'm not that good in math.Well who cares after all I want is to be an engr. I can say that the previous weeks until now that I'm in the metro is a big challenge on my part.Cleaning our room,the dishes and cooking for myself. Very far from my "kingly" life back in the province haha.... Going up and down the train stations is fun,walking the historical walls and the leisure of malls. A typical boy from the province to a city boy. What a shift of life isn't it.Well this is what it takes to achieve my dream fun but far from my family and friends. But there's always friday time to go back to province yahoo! Just so excited to eat the dishes mom prepares every time I go back home.Cause here what we eat is always instant anything that's fast to cook. I can't end this post for now cause' its just the start of my life here in the city so to be continued..... :D

Honestly I really don't know how to start writing this post. That's why I end with the topic of lifes constant change. Yep the past days made me realize that theres no permanent thing in this life God has bestowed us. But there are things we wished that are permanent. We don't want to think realistically. The reason why most of the time we end up broken and unhappy. Isn't it? the time we do things we never think how playful is this world we live.That it can make anyone the happiest and of course the saddest.Just imagine how many people experience the said words. I still remember a phrase from a book "there is no such thing in this world without its opposite". Well in a lot of problems and circumstances I've been through I have to agree with that. Just imagine when there is life and theres no death.Same with love and hatred. You know what I just end up laughing when I think of this things.Just hoping some might not think I'm insane.I'm just a deep minded person. But all the things I'm curious about are just base on my experiences.Maybe I wouldn't ask why I hate when I didn't experienced to love and been hurt.Some kind of that thing.Ahhh.... why I always end up with this thing on most of my posts.Love always leave a big impact in our lives as written from my previous post last year" Love is unique  not because it is essential to life,But because it's the only thing that makes man worth living" well maybe it means no love life has no value.To everyone who will read this post... Don't let the negative side of reality affects the way you live life -Robert John Manuel

What I felt this night is tremendously different.I can't even laugh for a single second.I'm so downgraded,seems that all my dreams just vanished.I want to die even just for a moment and escape from the problems this world has given me.A can of beer at my side is a very unusual sight in my room.But yes its there, my only companion for the night.I have a lot of dreams in life. But whats the used of dreaming if you know theres no one left behind you to support all this vanity of yours.I need a person to talk with.But where are they? I don't know.Hope they don't fade like my dreams with a blink of an eye.I really feel lonely this night.Afraid but I tried to deal with this suicide thing.I pity myself so much which you'll not find in my character.Kept asking whats the used of all the gadgets on my bed .They are just pleasure of mine but can't never help in times like this.There are people who act concern but behind their words are their impoverish character.Oh God please help me...

Yes, I treated you as a friend.A friend who became my daily routine.But now where are you? you're gone as if a dust in the wind.You left me here don't know how to cope with the days that I need a companion to talk with.Why you people are like that? You come and go.Why can't you be permanent in my life? There are a lot of things that bothers me.Like is this my consequence for all my wrongdoings.Isn't its unfair ,its too much for all the things that I've done. I can't even remember a time that I turn back from a friend or love one.Every night I'm asking this things to myself .Maybe its better that I didn't met this persons.I think its more easier to accept the fact that people just come and gone with just a nap the same thing when we met them.

:) LIVING THIS LIFE NEEDS A LOT OF SACRIFICES TO KNOW ITS WORTH

Its the eleventh day of 2011.And obviously this is my first post for this year.So let's get it started.Its has just been 11 days of the starting year.Yet its been a very busy week.Constructing my thesis and some requirements for the third quarter.I wouldn't even expect the year will start up like this.Well I find it challenging on my part just hoping for the fruit of my hardwork.Uhm...and yes just two months from now if so fortunate I will graduate from the secondary course and will go to college.We just also had our retreat last week in Tagaytay City.Let me tell you some about it.I and my classmates stay in the retreat house for 3 days and two nights.Just reflecting on the things that happened to us.This time of silence thats far from the noise of the urban.I realized many things despite of the comfort living I have now.There's still emptiness in me.Because I haven't release all the pain thats inside me.I've been so neutral about the things happening around me.Not realizing that this is not the life that I want.A life behind a mask of pain and darkness.In this three days I looked up the sky,the trees,the nature and how peaceful it was.I bear with it for three days.I shouted everything that I felt that time,and in that moment my soul calms as if I was in paradise. And this is how my year started busy yet full of realizations...








It's a New YEAR again but remember its not necessary for a person to change.Because what we always love is the real person we once knew.......

Christmas is near....

I already feel the cold breeze,the long nights and see the blinking lights.The jingles like rudolph the red nose reindeer. No doubt Christmas is near.The last and most happy month of the year.I'm already excited for the "Misa de Gallo"(rooster's mass).I missed walking at midnight and see people going out of their houses early in the morning going to the church.The voices of the choir  

that made me awake at the mass.But most of all the delicacies like bibingka putubungbong(all rice deli) that you'll surely see in front of the church.We'll buy some and it will be our breakfast.It is the most anticipated season of the year.And at the eve before christmas it's time for the noche buena a family get together it is one of the sumptous dinner of the Filipinos. I still remember when I was a child I put a sack at our front window then mom wake me up early and see the sack full of toys and clothes.Then on the day of Christmas mom bring me to my God fathers and mothers.Just take their hand then jackpot.For sure you'll receive an aguinaldo(christmas bonus) its a filipino tradition every Christmas.If lucky that dad is with us that Christmas.We'll go to an amusement park and spend the day there.If I can just get back the time.For sure this year will not still be the same as my childhood.Even though its like that.I will still never exchange to any traditions the way filipinos celebrate Christmas.

A year about to end....

I found myself staring at the window.Watching the blue sky.Thinking of all the things that happened this past months.Few weeks from now 2010  is over.A year will past again.I was thinking of the memories I had with the people around me.All the laughs,heartaches,trials ,problems,I had experience the past 10 months.Then I realize how fast the time runs.I still remember starting the year with a resolution,wishes,hopes and goals to be achieve.The past months has been really good to me I met many friends.I was not expecting this.But this year I only knew what love really is.Its the first time I cried for a person.Just this time I felt how to bid farewell.Quitting the things you wish for and long been waiting.It has been months of ups and downs. Still a month and three weeks more before the year will end.I still have exactly 53 days from now before the year will be officially over.A time to reflect of the ending year.How good still God to me.Because he let me experience what love really is for the first time.Its a first that I will never forget.That for almost 44 weeks I still made life worth living.Just now I really appreciate how really important the time is.In just about 7392 hours till this moment I'm writing this.Look at how many things happened.That in the time I'm losing I thought I was already defeated.But yet I didn't quit.Because falling in love is just one of the first that comes my way.I know there are more tears to run my face,more laughs to share and more people to love. :)